on the breath of death

well i guess it is becoming official. i am now an artist alone. i recently started an art collective with a group of other artists in the saint charles missouri area, that seems to have died at birth. so i moved into my garage. not a new story. artists of all types that i have encountered, be they musicians, poets or painters, all have a knack for self destruction. why? are we ingrained with a hatred of individualism that is so deep that it of course lends to self hatred? is it jealousy that develops amongst artists that causes us to separate into knitting circle fashion and destroy all threads of our common fabric? are we just not ready for socialism and all that it offers and costs? whatever it is, it is nothing new, and that is also what it allows. nothing new.